More than just a Memory.

I was lost in my own world of thoughts, when suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around, and stopped dead in my tracks.

It was him. It had to be. 

There was no mistaking those hazel-brown eyes. 

All those years passed had shown an effect on him. His hair was now long, curly and prevented from running wild in all directions by a rubber band. Just like him. He had become visibly muscular. And perhaps tanned, too. A tattoo peeking through the hem of his tee. I wondered what it would be. A dragon, or a skull maybe. Thats was what we mostly used to go crazy about. 

He was one person who had no problem with my tom-boyness. Infact, he was more than happy to have a "brother" rather than a sister, being the only child. He always had the coolest stuff and brought me all sorts of it too. Sometimes it was that brown bracelet that I later called my rockstar charm or the sweatshirt with some punk-emo ish graphic on it.

This wildcat was my once-dearest cousin. Until, someday he ran off leaving everything behind to pursue his dream. After which, his parents disowned him. For now, lets call him- Al

I still remember the day he left. It was a day after I turned 10. He had gifted me a tee with Danger is my beat written on it. At that time itself it was a couple of sizes larger for me, nevertheless I wore it every other day. (And even when it was about to tear, I  made a few amends to it and started wearing it as a cropped tee) Little did I know that was the last time I'd see him for years.

I cried and cried till my tear ducts went dry. I realized he isn't coming back. Not now, not ever. I tried to get up, and stumbled. 

But, after a while did manage to get up, brushed my knees and started afresh. Yeah, well I was 10, but I somehow clutched onto every good memory I had of his, and went on with my life. Still trying to ignore that part of my head that wondered how he didn't think of saying goodbye to me, even once before leaving.

Well here he is now, standing right in front of me. 

I suddenly gathered my bearings, and tried to concentrate on what he was saying. 

"Sach... Look at you! You look like a girl! "

"Sorry?" I was still too lost in my thoughts, and snapped back to reality.

Considering I was wearing  a  black tee, jeans and my Nike sneakers; that was not the first thing I expected him to say. But then I got what he was trying to do- go for the jovial mood, and ease off my fury.

Mo, protectively stood by me throughout. I guess he thought Al looked fishy... and ready to do anything, if Al so much as lay a fingernail on me.

"You have grown so much! Its great to see you! You seem almost as tall as me!" He said.

"Sorry, but who are you?" I couldn't forgive him, neither could I let my hidden pain resurface. No way, after all these years.

"Aren't you Sachi? You don't remember me? Im Al, your brother? " He seemed genuinely puzzled, now.

Mo was about to say something, when I silently nudged his foot. Thankfully he understood, and kept quiet.

"Im sorry, but no. Im not your "Sachi". And I don't know any Al. The only Al I knew died, four years ago. So, Im sorry. But, you are sadly mistaken." Having said all I had to, I grabbed Mo's arm and started to walk in the other direction.

"Wait. Im sorry. I really am. I know I shouldn't have done, what I did. It was wrong. Completely wrong. I regret my decision. Well, not all of it. But, yeah most of it." He said while holding my other hand. All this while my gaze settled on the row of shops on the opposite side of the hallway. If he thought he could just come in front on me and I'd welcome him back with a smile, he was wrong. 

I stopped begrudgingly. I stared at his hand holding mine, and glared at him.

"Leave my hand" I hissed.

"Please! One chance! Lemme explain..? Are your parents here?" He asked.

"No. That's none of your business." I snapped back. Seeing he had now loosened his grip on my arm, I walked in the other direction. Mo marched alongside, keeping up with my pace. 

It had been four years. Four whole years. And without any warning he pops in front of me, in the most random place- The mall.
 Mo and I were wandering together, probably for the last time, before he left. It was supposed to be a memorable day. Now, there was no way it was gonna leave my memory. All due to the wrong reason.

All these years, there was not a word from him. No call, no email. Nothing. Sometime, along the years I heard from my uncle, that he was caught with drugs. That was the moment when I realized that the Al I knew was really no more. I started stalking him on facebook. I dont know why I did, but that gave me a sort of an assurance that he's still alive.

 He had supposedly started a company of his own, along with a friend. And now,  they were pretty successful too. And, I was happy for him. He had left home to follow his dream, and ended up happy. So,yeah I was happy for him too. Does not mean Im suddenly forgiving him.