My knight in shining armor.

The street was dark. Dogs howling in the distance. Long shadows cast by trees making the road unnecessarily spooky. Half the street lights weren't on, and the one that was, was constantly flickering.

 The road isn't usually that dark, but the current strike of retailers, protesting against unnecessary taxes by keeping their stores shut, made the road so.

 I was on my way home, from class. And I usually have a friend with me, but he had to stay back for a punishment. So I was on my own.

At times like these I missed Ted.

Cursing at my luck and clenching my bag, I increased my pace and looked around.
 Just a guy, about a couple of feet behind me. Other than that, the road was devoid of humans. So practically, screaming my lungs out would not work.
I suddenly thought of the pepper-spray that my mum had bought me (more like forced on to me), fished out my cellphone and kept a steady finger on the speed-dial button, and started jogging.

Just as I rounded a curve, I bumped into something and my cellphone fell outta my hand.

As I bent to pick it up, I looked up. And found that it was a "somebody" that I had dashed into.

Quick to mutter an apology, I looked up to find that gorgeous face curved up, smiling down at me.
"Aaron! You scared the living hell outta me." I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"Well, hello to you too. Why were you running? "
"Umm..just like that? " Damn. Good job with the response, tongue.

"Where were you going?"
"Home?" It came out more like a question. Argh.

"I'll walk you."
"No, no. Its alright. I can manage."
"Nah. I insist, ok? " Ok? I was more than okay with it. More like giddy with excitement.

And we walked up to my apartment. All the way making me jealous, by going on and on about the Swedish House Mafia concert in Mumbai that was a part of their last tour as a band, that he went to.. teachers, Blackberry, snakeskin, Ann and Computers, which he was a world topper in. That genius!

And as we neared my building, I said goodbye.
I stayed back for a moment, stared at his lean figure walking down the footpath. His grey sweatshirt illuminated by the yellow street lights.

All he did was to walk me home. But with that little act of care, he was my savior. My knight in shining armor.

PS: This was posted a little earlier in the day, but there was some techie error. So, I posted it again:)

In this tug of war, you'll always win. Even when, I'm right.

I stared back at my reflection in the mirror. Gone was the spark. The dull eyes, the pale skin, the dark circles weren't always there. A far contrast from my image of me, if you ask.

The feeling of being torn, I had become quite familiar with.

They always leave.
And in their wake, as I try to deal with their absence, I find a part of me disengaging from the world, bit-by-bit.
I find not-interacting-with-people a better option.
I admit, I get attached to people real quick. Is that a bad thing?

The idea of a my shell, seems the best to me. Where its just me. Nobody else.

Dad is not here half the time.
Al left.
Ted and I would never be the same again.
Mo, gone. Thousands of miles away.

Maybe I should change the name of my blog, to Me and My Boys. 

Sometimes the reality is too harsh to face. How I wish the earth would indeed open up, and swallow me down.
Running away from problems, am I?
 Im just fourteen.

Theres no gravity to hold me down, for real.

I just happened to turn, and of all the things that had to catch my eye, it was him.

I just happened to gaze into his eyes, and I was lost. Again. Talk about deja vu.

My tummy does this flip-flop. And, I catch my breath.

This is not supposed to happen. Not after all this.

He smiles. I try to, too.

And, just as that gorgeous smile comes into view, the whole universe around us fades.

Its only him, and me.

All the memories we shared, flood back into my mind.

All those efforts to bury them deep down, gone futile. All because of a smile.

How can I be so weak?

He takes a few steps towards me. I felt a rush.
 The sudden electricity in the evening air, prominent.

This is where I say, I ended up making a fool outta myself.

Cause frankly, I don't remember what we spoke about. I was in a daze, literally. 

It had been one whole year, since I last saw him. 

What I felt around him, I think. Is the closest to love, I had ever felt.
And, it felt good.

What I'd give to see that face every single day. With everything between us, back to what it had been two years back.

Days turn to sand, losing all the strength in hand.

My Life sucks. Everything in it sucks.
Change is the principle of the universe- They say.
Changes suck.
They suck.

Exactly a year back, I was in my old home, perhaps sound asleep. But here I am.
New house, new car, new school. And perhaps, a new me.

When I think about it, I simply feel I prefer the new me. I know the older me was different.
If I say that there are times that I crave to be the older me, is there something wrong with me?

Maybe I prefer the truth not coming out. It'll make that douchebag realize the extent to which I miss him.
 He, instead might take pride in it. Who knows?
God, he has changed too.
 For now, lets call him-Ted.
Whenever I see him these days, he is with this other girl he's supposedly dating, a year junior to us.

I think I should've known.

Replaced. So easily I was taken outta his life, and replaced. All those promises of calling, with every detail, along with the momentary trust I had in them, broken.
 Even if I tried, I couldnt go on forever.

Forever. A word, I no longer had faith in.

The bad part was that I still loved him.
But this love was different. It was understanding, supporting and admiring each other. It was love, but of a different sort.
Definitely.
It was like, our own brand of love.

He was there for me. Always.
My dad often had to go abroad, for months together. And every time he left, I was teary-eyed. I had to act strong in front of mum, and my brother. I couldnt help it. I was their Iron-man.
He was always there,lending me a shoulder to cry on. The breakdowns I had with him, were our secrets.

He was one person who could bear my grumpy mood.
Whenever I was pissed at him, he knew how to steer himself out of trouble..so well.


Look, we were not made for each other. We just chose to stay together. He was the best friend I ever had.



Now, you'd be like, why are you writing all this here?
Yeah, you should not read ahead. No, seriously.

I just dont know what happened.

The exasperation I faced after seeing him in his new life, led me to deactivate my facebook account. I just wanted to go ahead and finish what he did.
Break all sources of connection with him.


He was an integral part of Me.

I just dont know what happened. We grew apart, maybe? I dont know.

After him, I had just found this way of steering myself away from everybody.

Dont get me wrong. The people at my new school,  are really nice. But, I used to feel they were very two-faced. All of them. Almost.
Then came Ananya.

She took his first step towards me, and somehow managed to crack the shell I had built around myself and let herself in.

I just somehow find myself being better friends with guys. Well, I do have girls as friends too, but somehow nobody was that close to me.
Maybe, thats the baggage you get, when you're quite the tomboy.
I dont know, I just somehow tried to steer myself away from gossip, and other girly stuff. Its always been that way.
I preferred over-sized tees, to tank tops. And jeans to skirts.
Until, now. More on that later.
It was always Linkin Park, never Taylor Swift.
Blah, I despise her. She always seems to be cribbing bout how perfect or imperfect her life is.
God. Is that what Im doing now?
Tell me it isnt. Please?

I dont think this is working
Freezing so hard, my hands are hurting
Ought to let go in the first place

And I put the phone on the front lawn
Everything that shows time is gone
Im outside looking for you

If  everthing'd stop I'll listen for your heart 
To lead me right to you, yeah
I tried every way I can.

Later.