Living in the ruins of the palace within my dreams.

The room was flooded with moonlight, one summer night. The steady drift of wind played with the folds of her dress. She could see him clearly. Her heart clenched. His infectious smile lit up the room, and she found herself beaming back at him.  She lost herself in the maze of golden swirls in his brown eyes. He was captivating to his last molecule. 

She had missed being happy. In the eternal distress and pace her life seemed to have taken up, he had been a breath of fresh air. His face was etched in her memory. Permanently. Like acrylic paint on a canvas. Once splattered, there is no going back. And just like that, she knew. Since the very day she had bumped into him, she knew. She would never be able to forget him.

Suddenly, she felt him slip right through her fingers. He was there just a moment ago, and now there was nothing but a whisper of night breeze. He seemed real. He was real. He was not just a figment of her imagination, it can't be. No. He was right there. And now, there was empty space. Void. Nothingness. She flailed her hands and cried his name out. Desperation clawed at her. She needed him like she need oxygen to breathe. He was essential to her functioning. She searched all around. Nothing. Nada. The lights faded away. And just like that her life plunged into darkness. Missing him came in waves, and currently she was drowning. She tried to hold onto the last strand of her self perseverance, but it was already low. She found herself letting go. She let the last wisps of her existence slip. She let go.

He was an enigma to her. A mystery. A mystery that would forever remained unsolved. 

When the light's turning down, they don't know what they heard.

She struck the matchstick once. Twice. A brilliant yellow flame burst at the end of the matchstick.

The warmth eluded by the flame was a tiny spot in the cold night. Just like her, in this vast darkness. The immensity of the moment overwhelmed her.

She started to think about all that was going to be burnt and just as she did, the raw pain started to emerge again and immediately, she knew it was a bad idea. Not wanting to cower to the past, she decided to take that leap into the boundless unknown and threw the matchstick onto the pile.

There was no going back.

Flames burst out, and set the mound of her belongings ablaze. Bright plumes of the fire reflected in her dark eyes. Everything was in slow motion. She could only watch as the flames grew steadily and started consuming every memory of his. She felt like paper. The flames seemed rambunctious to her- so boisterous, yet alive. Vibrant in the stark harshness of the cold, December night. The warmth of the fire providing the courage to move on. She had to believe.

And so she turned and walked to her car with a newly found lightness in her shoulders. Throwing caution to the wind, she drove to a faraway land. And she knew everything was going to be okay. Everything will be okay. She had to believe.

PS: My board results come out tomorrow. Keep me in your prayers, will ya (:

Of good times and noodle salad.

She let out a shiver as she stepped into the cool Manchester air and walked towards the building.
She felt a wave of exertion overwhelm her as she stepped into the elevator, and let out a sigh.
She struggled to retrieve the keys from her purse, and her laptop bag fell at her feet. After a few tries, the door finally gave way and she stumbled into her apartment. And all of a sudden she was engulfed by a smell. Good heavens.

Masala chai.

It was as if she was magically transported back Home. Mumbai.
She was suddenly seventeen again, and could hear the rain pelting outside her window.
The smell of the wet soil.
The sudden pleasant weather welcome, after months of scorching heat.
She remembered that day distinctly.

First rain of the season. She was at home in front of her books, and was caught in a sudden trance as she heard the droplets pitter - patter on her windowsill.
The ring of her cell phone suddenly cut through the still air ; it was him.

Come down quickly- He had said, leaving no room for argument. She didn't need to be told twice.

There he was, outside the gate on his bike. Fully drenched.
The rain had stopped now. It was more beautiful.
She ran to him, ready to rebuke with all guns blazing. But he had waved her off, and given her a hand to help her get on the bike. He gave her some crap about being back in Mumbai after a long time and called her  paranoid after he sneezed a couple of times.

She would never forget that day.
She would never forget that ride.
She would never forget the lush greens and the whispering winds.
She would never forget the feel of the cool air hitting her face as he cut through the lanes skillfully.
She would never forget the quaint tea stall and the smell of masala chai.
She would never forget his mood that day.
She would never forget the twinkle of mischief in his eye.
She would never forget what he said to her.
She could not get herself to forget the way he met his death, the very next day.


Her mum waving her hand in her face, brought her back to the present.
"Earth to Savi." she said.

She found a tear escaping her eye. Just the whiff of masala chai had provoked memories she had tried so hard to bury and leave behind her, to surface.

She ran to her and consumed her in a bear hug and held her for a moment. She was thankful that her mum was finally there.
She had never been that close to her; once a daddy's girl, always a daddy's girl.
But at that moment she was the one who quenched her thirst for something familiar in an unfamiliar city. She enveloped her with the warmth, she didn't know she was aching for. She reminded her of home. Mumbai.

She was her home, away from home.

Picture courtesy : Weheartit  <3

You hold me, Im alive. We're like diamonds in the sky.

Bubbles are such pretty, fascinating things.

The precise spherical shape, the incredibly fragile nature of the microscopically thin soap film, the beautiful colours that swirl and shimmer.

They are beautiful. And photogenic. They bring happiness and peace to me.

Later, folks. 

:) xx

Picture courtesy: Weheartit

Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul, I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go.

She felt the bed dip behind her, and was suddenly engulfed by the warmth of another body. She felt content in his arms. Like, that was all she needed to survive.To give her that one reason to breathe.
She smiled to herself.
And just as the feeling of gratification settled in she heard his phone buzz under her. She knew what it meant, very well.
He had to go.
She failed to keep the disappointment from surfacing, as he whispered a got to go, baby in her ears. She quickly turned around to watch him put on his jacket and quietly murmured, "Love you, Dad."

Six degrees of separation.

She stepped out onto the cool, moist ground. And looked up at the sky.
Her breath caught as she witnessed the mighty clouds roar. 

All of a sudden a gush of raindrops rush towards her, enveloping her in their chill and soothing her burning skin. 

She forgot everything.

And, forgave.

She felt something in her break, and come alive. The expectant pain, was nowhere to be found.

Tears emerged , but got carried way with the drops from the sky. Which left her mouth feeling salty, but not for long.

A feeling of inner happiness consumed her.

Numb no longer.



Picture courtesy : Google images